The Galway Open (Irish National Law Debates).
The Philosoph headed up to Galway on the 12th – though some of us were on a very, very early bus thanks to the stellar work of Cian ‘On Time, Every Time’ Luddy.
Cian spoke at the weekend with the Hist’s Sam Browne. They achieved an incredible three-win streak, broke to the Semi Finals, and gingerly avoided saying the word ‘vagina’ as much as possible in round four.
Clodagh Feehely spoke with Catherine Prasfika, cementing the #Histosoph16 relationship. Unlike the boys, Clodagh and Catherine dazzled their judges with their take on vajazzaling, though they swear the knowledge was learnt ‘from a friend.’
Seán-Diarmuid Kelliher spoke with Matt Brown as “The Kerry Liberation Army”. Our sources have not yet revealed what they want to liberate Kerry from (it is rumoured to be the reign of the Healy-Raes however). The lads convincingly argued that Bernie Sanders was not good for the Democratic Party, and Matt in particular must be acclaimed for surviving a three-hour bus journey on Valentine’s day with Méabh and Cian.
Méabh McMahon spoke with Ciarán Daly, who is also known as Legs for unintelligible reasons. “Titillated by Trump”, as they called themselves, broke to the Semis, and Méabh was also a Top Ten speaker. (She also levelled up in Candy Crush which was nearly as big an achievement).
Eoin O’Sullivan outdid us all however. First, there was his uncanny resemblance to his team-mate and brother Rory. Then he topped the speaker tab, and then they won the competition. Mammy O’Sullivan is reported to be very proud indeed.
Our judges were also on-point, as Chelsea Cunningham broke to the Semi Finals, and Sarah Dunphy proved that she’s one of the best by judging the Grand Final.
But competitive achievement isn’t all that matters. As we all made the long journey back to Cork on Sunday, reflecting on how it was Valentine’s Day, we realised how much we love each other platonically. Just kidding. Most of us slept of hangovers, and the rest dreamed of the showers they’d have at home. Very romantic stuff.
Lord of all Rhetoric.
Cormac O’Brien was a busy man this last week. He and his ardent fans drove up to Dublin, with various mishaps on the way, so that he could compete in the Irish Times Final 2016.
Times is known for being a tricky competition with emphasis on oratory skills, though Cormac assures us he read a book on debating (god forbid.) Unfortunately, he didn’t take the win, but he can rest assured he’s number one in all our hearts.
It wasn’t over yet though, as Cormac then had to do his Irish Mace Semi-Final on Sunday with Méabh McMahon. In a shocking twist, the judges deemed that Bernie Sanders probably was unelectable after all, so Méabh and Cormac didn’t make the cut, but they are still eager to defend Bernie ‘Gateway Drug into Hardcore Socialism’ Sanders.
The Week Ahead
Another congratulations to every speaker and judge who participated over the last week. It’s onwards and upwards for UCC Philosoph, as you’ll catch us tonight the 22nd of February holding “Indecision 2016”, which is being hosted by none other than George Hook. This weekend it’s off to the Belfast Open for Méabh, Cian, Ciarán and Eoin, and in between there’s sure to be plenty of discourse and debanter.